Resistant

Do things differently. Do things differently. DO THINGS DIFFERENTLY.

As I said in an earlier post , I am trying to do things differently. Actually, I’ve been trying to do things differently for much of my life, but as I’ve gotten older, and especially the last year or two, I’ve gotten more serious about it and expanded my horizon of just what I can do differently. Some days though, it’s tough. Good god, can it be tough.

For those of you who have any belief or interest in astrology, I’m a cusp baby. My birthday decided to sit it’s sweet little baby ass right on the border of Pisces and Aries. Most charts say I’m a ram girl, but many say that I am a fish baby. If you don’t believe in astrology or you think it’s a bunch of crap, you’re entitled to your opinion, but this is my blog, and you aren’t the boss of me, so you can either stop reading now, or you can open your mind to a different view of life, because I’m not going to stop talking about the planets and stars—at least not yet. I’ve come to realize that my public self tends to be more Aries, and my private self tends to be more Pisces. Now this is only taking into account my sun sign, and none of the other planetary placements.

In keeping with my true Arian (not Aryan, although my fellow word geeks know that Aryan is actually derived from Sanskrit) nature, I have a tendency to be very childlike in many ways. I can be impatient, vocal, boisterous, spontaneous, and adventurous. Fortunately, I have time on my side, and as I’ve aged and I’ve worked to do things differently, I’ve learned to try to let my Pisces blood take over when it’s needed—kind of like split personalities, which, incidentally, I do not have pedigree papers for.

My son is a full-on Pisces. I think my being born on the cusp was part of the Universe’s great plan, because sometimes my Aries nature is so challenged by his dreamy, deeply sensitive ways, and if I didn’t have my own Piscean blood running through me, I don’t think I’d have been able to make it through parenting. Fortunately, I’ve been somewhat successful at flipping the switch when I need to see life from a fire perspective or water perspective.

Recently, I feel like my life has been bombarded with wishy-washy people. Fools who can’t make up their mind. People who don’t have the backbone to say what they want. Weak people who would rather avoid a topic or issue than face it and say what they want or what they are thinking. This is unfathomable for me. Even during my childhood I usually had no problem saying what I wanted or needed—at least most of the time, and especially when people asked. That’s part of being honest: answering a question, and answering it truthfully. Heck, I remember being a kid and my mom scolding me for being “too honest.” She once said, “Angela, people don’t want to hear the truth.”

“I do.”

“Yes, but most people don’t. Many people find the truth to be hurtful.”

“Then they shouldn’t ask me to tell them the truth if they don’t want to hear the truth. How am I supposed to know if they really want the truth if they say they want the truth but they don’t want to hear it.”

“I’m just telling you, most people don’t want to hear the truth.”

“But you always told me not to lie.”

“Yes, you shouldn’t lie, but that doesn’t mean that everyone wants to hear the truth.”

No wonder people think I’m crazy. I spent many years of my life trying to play by their nonsensical rules!

So, when I encounter these wishy-washy people, my Arian personality wants to curse them out. Tell them to get with it. Man up. Give it to me straight. I may not like what I hear, but I’m going to have a hell of a lot more respect for you for having the balls to say what you want to say. Ducking and dodging a topic or problem is not the way to be viewed as strong or confident. Sure, you might think you are being a nice person, but you’re not. It’s a form of manipulation, and most people find wishy-washy people maddening. Don’t be afraid to say what you want or need. If the other person doesn’t like it, and they are at all a decent person, they are either going to respect your request or work toward  a healthy, mutual solution. And, if you can’t tell people what you want or need, you are not a good communicator. Being a good communicator spans far beyond making small talk or cutting jokes. You can wear the “good communicator” hat when you are able to talk about the things you don’t want to talk about. Until then, you are still a novice.

Yeah, several of these annoying folks have been parading through my life lately. Because I’m doing things differently—or at least trying to—I’m looking at it as a message from the Universe that I need to learn how to deal with these fools. I need to learn how to either encourage them to respond effectively, or I need to learn how to manage myself so they don’t get under my skin and drive me crazy. Easier said than done—especially if you are forced to deal with them such as a family member or co-worker—or if you are like me and you generally have no problem saying what’s on your mind, how you’re feeling, or what you want.

But, I’m trying—the Arian part of me is resisting the urge to curse them out and it’s also resisting the need to let the Piscean part take over, but I’ve made a promise to do things differently, and a promise made is a debt unpaid in the code of the frozen north.

It’s their issue, not mine—unless I allow it to be.